what a day...

Ever felt like you no longer hold the reigns to your life?... hopeless rasanya..
Lost an Uncle... in a split second it felt... never expected it coming... even now it feels like a dream... a nightmare more like.. I wanna wake up from.. desperately... Al-fatihah... moga ya bersama orang-orang yang beriman.. aminn... I cant begin to immagine how the family must feel... But they have been strong through it.. kudos to the dear cousins and aunt for being so brave..

Then I discoved something that felt like a revelation... all this time i think i knew it all along.. just refused to believe what was blatantly obvious... I pray that justice prevails... and sit and watch as days go by and wait for news that always seem to find its way to me even without asking.. interesting. Aaahhh life... slow down a bit please I need to catch my breath..

Oh dad...

Emails are so rare these days.. with facebook and twitter and all the social networks.. Updating family and friends with daily happenings is made more convenient. Hence we stay in touch even if we don't realise it. But ofcourse there are certain things reserved for the eyes and "ears" of only a selected few... such as this email I received from my very best friend:

(heheh I can't believe I'm posting this but its just too funny not to share)

so the email goes....

" dunno if ur dad mentioned that he met alai (BFF's husband) yday arah penggilan. It was funny coz alai went to tagur ur dad masa kan balik... skali ceta2 lah alai told ur dad yang kawin ani colleague nya etc etc etc, skali alai asked ur dad... "kita ani bapa c sam kan uncle?" n suddenly ur dad had a grin on his face n asked with a serious tone "c sam mana tu?" (that's how i imagined it masa alai ceta arah ku hehe) skali alai ckp... "c sam bah samsiah... aku laki c achu bah uncle" skali ur dad pun smile n said "awooo... astah" heheheheh its like masa ur dad had a grin atu mcm... "who the hell is this guy rambut lagi panjang kan cuba2 men-tackle anak ku!" kinda look arah alai sampai alai mcm GULP! Heheheheheheheh tapi lps alai mentioned me. ok tia phew! "

HAAHAHAHAHAHaHA owhhh Daddy~ I love you too ;p

al-fatihah..

I don't usually do postings to commemorate the passing of family and friends.. mainly besause its so hard to even bring myself to key in the words.. to see it form into sentences that triggers a flash back of the happy memories embedded in my heart.. But last night.. I only come to knowledge that an acquaintance had passed in a tragic car accident..

I barely knew him but in the few exhange of words it was evident that he was a nice person.. the friends had nothing but great things to say about him.. and I wept. Maybe it was the love that I sensed from those around him.. maybe its the passing of such a young life with so much potential.. or maybe.. for the loss of a friendship that could have been... maybe I'm PMSing... I really can't say why I was emotional about it... weeping with eyes like a faucet.. The only reason I could think of is that its not everyday that you find a friend that you truly wanna keep in your life.. al-fatihah.

majOr fuMble

I joined this run for charity thing... HAhahahHA yeah you heard it right.. me? run? hahahahah okay I guess its time.. seriously time to get back on the wagon... I have strayed so far ahahaha anyway.. the charity... something of a rarity (hey that rhymes)

In fact, if I wasn't forced into it or involved via office I certainly wouldn't have joined it at all I think. Not that I don't believe in charity... I think charity could be served in other forms not just in BIG shebang events.

So there I was running a little bit late for this run thing and meeting up with the cuzzie and her friends at a venue.. even from a distance I could see how fit these guys were... as I entered the car I was introduced to the two very good looking guys... thankfully my jaws didnt drop. hahahahahaahhahaahhahaha

They were lets just say a feast for the eyes...nice facial features.. the kind that deserves.. wait... the kind that demands a second glance.. or three.. maybe even four.. well sculpted... arms with rippled muscles even visible through the printed white shirts (the charity run official wear a tad tacky but they made the shirt looked good!) HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAahha owh my.. I said too much..but surely it doesn't hurt to have a bit of eye candy *giggle* ;p

So once the introductions were over and we were just chatting amongst ourselves on the way to the venue.. I couldn't help but express what I had in my mind to the cuzzie sitting next to me in the backseat.. "hey ka, lawa jua kawan kita dua orang ani.." cakap melayu lerr karang disabut hensem faham durang kan?! hahahaha

I seeeeriously didnt see what came after... " hey ming (mostly family only that call me by that name), sorang atu melayu tu ming"

&*$^%!!!! ssssshhheeeeeeeiiiiitttssSSssssss..... embarassment does not befit the discription that I felt when she uttered those words... FuuuuuudddgeeeestickkSS!!!! *&^%*$((!!!

I think my face could put the red on an apple to shame!!!!!!

bladder Be bladder blah!

I had my resevations about writing this but it was just too stupendous not to be shared!

It was a lovely day. The birds chirping, the wind blew with a cool breeze enough to mask the heat of the shining sun.. ever so bright and i have the two tones skin on my arms to prove it.. like i've put on a long glove... I can't stop staring at it now...

So it was a lovely day.. a great day for a picnic. I'll upload the pictures maybe on a later day cos its just so troublesome my current fone.. Seriously need to get a new one... soon enough inshaAllah.

This story isn't really about the day at the beach.. more what happened after.. ever had the so-much-fun-that-you'd-forgot-to-go-1? It was a picnic under the brightest of sunshine.. the heat was barely noticeable due to the presence of billowing cool breeze off the sea.. but that didnt stop me from having a drink.. a lot of drinks actually.

So fast forward to the time I drove home..I find my handbag metamorphs into Doraemons magic pouch that coughs out so much stuff.. everything and anything but what I'm looking for! So right there and then I felt the urge to tinkle!! WTF??!!! Now??!! Seriously lately the warning for 1 and 2 is short and URGENT!! UUrrggHHHH come on keys!! I stopped moving literally! to will myself to hold it for a little longer.. but the frantic search for the f**king key was preventing me from concentrating on holding it!! And that was the weirdest relief I have ever let myself be in *sink in shame*

yes you read it right! I was like this little kid who hasn't mastered bladder control! haAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

I jumped near the garden hose, almost screaming!! "hose me down!! I cant hold it!! I seriously cant!!" and so my dear brother.. who was mortified at the situation was in between laughing and disbelief!! He pulled the garden hose and turned the faucet and started to spray me with water like washing a dirty cat! hahahahahhaAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAahahhahaha

I was laughing this red in the face laugh wishing that it was all a bad dream!!

*hide me now*

But that is not the end of it... after cleaning up and gathering what was left of my dignity.. I went downstairs remembering the M&S chocolate snack that the other brother brought home last night. A lovely blend of rolled rich and moist chocolate cake coated with milk chocolate that is so devine it helps you forget your troubles.. Exactly what I need in this situation. I was chewing one in my mouth and it was working... HhhMMmmmmhhhh.. chocolate.. endorpine releasing substance is really working. Just as I decided to take a sip of water to drown a little bit of its rich sweetness, the brother stepped into view out of no where!! Giving me a bit of a fright! And I choked on the water and caughed it out.... Right into his face. Its not enough that he had witnessed the aweful scene earlier, now he gets chewed up chocolate gunge spat on him!!! HAHAAHAHaHAAHHAhaha owhh Allah..

seram Sejuk..

Aarghh fell asleep on the sofa again! I hate having to wake up in the middle of the night to find myself all alone and no one else in the family room.. the house gets eerily quiet at those times...

So there I was walking up the stairs to my room... everything all hushed and me trying to get into my owhhh cosy bed. But the bladder had different plans.. so I popped into the en-suite. Having finished my business, while I was washing my hands.. I thought I heard something.. so I turned off the water and there it was... faint in the beginning.. and starts getting louder as I listened intently... it was the creepiest sound I never thought I'd hear.. wailing cry of a woman!

Its giving me goosebumps as I'm writing this... it was spooky.. the sadness was evident but the way in which the cry was let out.. in the kind that lets you know its just unhuman.. and at this hour??

Reminds me of another incident about a couple of years or so ago... all alone in my room, the radio full blast and me on the lappy.. when all of the sudden a loud bangging shocked me frozen.. on the walls that was close to my right just by my bed.. I turned off the radio but the banging continued a good minute... although it could've been a few seconds but it felt like minutes.

During the banging.. I had initially thought my brother got annoyed at the loud music. His room is on the other side of the wall...

But a second thought made me realise that the brother was off abroad for a good couple of weeks or months.. so who was that banging on the wall???

the other funny feeling

Love should be simple said a friend to me.. it shouldn't be hardwork..it should come naturally.. and i think yes. Falling in love should be natural. It should be as simple as the hit of pleasure you feel on the first bite of a decadent creamy warm chocolate fudge cake. The orgasmic AAaaahhhhHHH of the senses for the pure pleasure of such taste.. ermm okay maybe I went overboard with the metaphor.. more like describing some other thing ;p hahahahaah

Carrying on... its actually what comes after that over-the-moon-love-struck stage of the relationship that is tricky.. where all the "hardwork" come to play. It should be logic really.. do what comes natural to you right?.. so you dont end up being awkward and clumsy i.e. trying too hard.

I kid you not but this is real life story I'm about to tell you... no one I repeat NO ONE in their sensible state of mind would dare execute but this being life of unexpected "treasures"... some did!! *grimace*

WARNING: not for the weak stomach.. Seriously if you had downed some food I'd advise you to wait the full 5 hours for it to digest before reading the following contents.

An act of feeding

You know this.. you see moms doing this all the time to their child. In certain context of romanticism, couples perform this gesture as sign of affection and intimacy. I wouldn't recommend that this ever be done at any stage of dating unless both party is open to the idea.

Ok get ready to cringe.. a friend lets call her Yaya, tries her damnest to give this guy, Dull, a fighting chance at winning her over. Long story short, it was the family that set her up with the guy. Dull came highly recomemnded as being a very nice and good person (I'm turned off already.. hahaha I'm not against dating nice guys who are also GOOD apparently.. but when people talk about someone like that, doesn't it usually translate to "he's actually very boring"?) so.. no matter how much she tries.. nothing. Absolutely nothing.. zilch! Nada! stirred inside her.. not the tiniest bit of spark.. Nothing to ignite any sort of romantic notion for him. Maybe he sensed it?..

So in an act of trying to be more spontaneous on his part (I guess he felt that this could tip the scale to his favour.. what a &#^%$!) he decided to help feed her some snacks while she was driving.. Yaya so not ready for such showiness of affection.. pulled away.. far far away... well.. as far as the space in the car seat would let her. Thats not the "best" part.. trust me it gets a whole lot worse.. deciding that he'd give it another try.. maybe he thought she was being shy and needed a little prodding.. so... he did it again! and again Yaya pulled away.. undeterred.. HE DID IT FOR A THIRD TIME!!! And guess what?... there were people riding with them in the backseat!!!!!! I'm embarassed for him the first time... but to be doing it over and over!!! Seeeeriously??! Motification descibes only the tip of the iceberg for this... He redefines awkwadness!

*hhahaAHAHAHahahaha*
Trying to force feed someone who haven't at all warmed up to you is crazy awkward! But wait.. to do it not once, not twice, three times!!

Consensus: so not cool man.. to say the least.

infedelity..

Currently watching "He's just not into you"

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking... it happens especially when I am faced with certain scenarios.. so there I was watching this movie and it got me thinking.. people fall in love and they get married.. but years after.. some find new interest and fall in love with another... it happens... how do you deal with that?.. is it fair game?... are they being selfish?... or was it not love the first time?.. or have they fallen out of love with the first and that is why they find other love? is it fair though?.. is it fair to say to the one you are with that you don't love them anymore after so many years or is it easier to lie and have extra marital affairs or do you stick it through and stand by them through thick and thin and eventually rediscover who you married?... something to think about huh..

mimpi itu indah

I got a surprise call a couple of days back... I always enjoy an occasional call from the besties, especially when its just to say hi and have a chat about anything and everything. So about that call... it was a shocker cos a friend was telling me that she'd dreamt that I was getting married!!! and.... that she was doing the preparations for me!! hahahahahha seriouskah?! are dreams just figments of ur immagination resulted from remnants of your conscious thoughts?... or is there such a thing as an omen in dreams... makes me wonder... hmmmmm...

a good day indeed..

The fishing trip was a bundle of fun. As ever there was a few candid incidents that made us laugh til we felt like peeing hahahhahaha. Sadly I havent managed to take fotos of the feast we had on the trip.. but immagine Man Vs Food portions hahaha ;p

As for the fishes.... I'll let the picture do the talking for me :)

Owh yes.. it was a good day indeed...

P/s- I didnt catch a single one!! hahahaha but felt a greater sense of excitement and fun seeing dad and the brothers smile with that all happy ear to ear brim of a smile with the look-what-I-caught look on their faces ;) *dalam hati gerigitan plang tu nda tertangkap ikan atu* hahah

fishing trip

a fishing we will go~ a fishing will go we~ somehow I'm fueled, ready to go for this fishing trip only cos the last trip of the first two I didnt catch anything and the brother has been gloating on his big catch..

Not so big on fishing but I thoroughly enjoy it once I'm given the rod and bait :) I love the rush that comes with the tug on the line and there's a bite. Plus spending that quality time with the family is just something so priceless... especially now with everyone busy with their own thing.. Call me lame.. but I think I have the best times when I'm with my family

movie marathon

The brothers and I decided to go for a movie marathon yesterday and it ended with a big fat scowl on dads face... I opted for a quick exit but the brothers aren't as lucky.. they had to sit out the big blow out.. poor them.. one of the brother didn't have a happy face this morning.. *giggle* its kinda funny when I think about it really...

I don't blame dad for getting angry.. he's just being a worried dad.. I just wished he'd start treating us like adults.. and approached things a little more tactful... Everyone has issues with their parents I'm sure and ours would be having parents who loves us too damn much! (pardon my french) When you see me with a not too happy face.. its only cos I'm stressing about being loved too much... hahahahahahahahahah

But all in all.. I love my parents and I wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world.

So on the topic of movies.. we saw *drum roll*

KUNGFU PANDA 2!!!

It was awesome!! the cinematography was more awesome than the first.. would've been a whole lot more awesome if we had managed to procure a parking spot at the mall in Gadong to watch it in 3D.. on the bright side I got a refund for the paid parking! hehe only cos I asked for it and told the parking attendant that we couldn't get a parling space even after making a few rounds..

so I was saying.. kung fu panda 2 almost made me pee my pants!! all the laughing!! I was in stiches!! it was truly most entertaining and a film to watch!

well it wasn't really a marathon, it was just two films.. if we had gone for three.. I would really have gotten ourselves in greater trouble with the parents hehe... the other film was pirates of the carribean : on stranger tides..

It was somewhat less of a swashbuckle than we anticipated... having seen the films predecessor... and probably having seen kung fu panda before it.. but then again I have to admit.. watching it in 3D would have pobably hiked up the ratings for me.. but of course it wasn't a dissapointment.. a film with johnny depp is never a disapointment! Too many new characters that needed familiarizing maybe... kinda confuses the story line and divergent from the original three films before it.. I can't quite put my finger on it.. but it was okay... wasn't great but okay by my book.

gOOd Luck Chuck

Ever heard of the movie good luck chuck..

so the story goes (case you couldn't be bothered to click on the link there) summarized: its about a guy, Chuck, who always end up in failed relationships one after the other AND his exes all end up getting married with the next man after they date him... Funny flick really if you havent watched it I'd recommend it for a fun night in movie. You would think its all fiction and nothing but a very immaginative story line.. So I was stunned when a friend told me that there is such a guy in our very own country, yes here, who actually resembled Chuck's life story and is somewhat of a lucky charm to those single ladies looking to get hitched... now aint that something hahaha but hey it could all be a coincidence.. I mean the guy could probably be so bad that anyone that comes in next seem like a God send.. But all in all it felt like i had one of those TV sitcom conversation... surreal but loads and loads of laughter ;)

thurSday Pinks

Since mondays have the blues, I thought I'd give pink to thursday... It may be the fact that I know tomorrow is a public holiday.. that I am somewhat taking it rather easy at work... if I were in a meeting this would be on my note pad...

Owh yes.. still the old fashioned way... still with the pen n paper where everyone else have upgraded to an ipad or tablet pc...

random

"It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy" -George Downes,

My Best Friend's Wedding.

I haven't the faintest idea why its stuck in my head... but doesn't it ring true though?.. especially when you are in a relationship... the many indicators that point you towards having strong feelings for someone is exactly that.